Snow Day Fun!

Yep thats right, even grown-ups get snow days in the mountains. At least you do when they close the roads so you can't actually drive in to work. I have to say that is one of the incredibly nice things about working for an IT department. We have the ability to work from any computer, so instead of dealing with the white out conditions, I could monitor my e-mail from my phone and spend most of the day having fun. And oh what fun we had.

Early this morning Jay and I took Jaxson and Atlas out to the park across the street so that they could play in the snow. Its so funny how much our dogs love to run around in the stuff. Here are some pictures from our fun at the park 

Jay thought standing under the tree
would protect him from the snow....

...but it didn't protect him from this
snowball I hit him with...
it stuck to his back :)

  

Isn't the park all covered in snow pretty!



Jaxson and Atlas ruined the pristine
snow look pretty quickly.

Atlas' first snow day ever!



My sad little snowman...I know its hard to see but he is there!

 

After fun time at the park, the puppies and I group cuddled and relaxed with some Madagascar. We definitely looked like a little pack laying all together on my bed. Though that may not be a good thing when Jay and I actually decide to spring for a bed that is more than a futon mattress on the floor.



Jay and I also finished our Thanksgiving day preperations today with some shopping for the last few ingrediants on our list, and then a trip to Scheels to pick up my race day packet for the 10K Turkey Trot I'm running Thanksgiving morning. Neither of us had ever been to Scheels and the only thing I knew about it was it was a giant sporting goods store. Well guess what...it is a sporting good store that sells some kickin' homemade fudge. How awesome is that?! It also has cool displays of outdoorsy stuff all over the place. Here are some pictures Jay and I thought were cool:








Of course the day had some hiccups. We got home from the store and realized that a pipe under our sink was leaking grossness all over the place. But luckily I have an awesome boyfriend who cleaned everything up for me. All I had to do was rinse out rags in the bathtub and start the wash when it was all over. Who can complain about that?

All in all it was an awesome day. And now I am going to go curl up with a good book and my boys on the couch! Happy snow day all!! 

Joining the Unperfects

My friend Sarah, recently posted about celebrating the unperfectness of our lives, and I thought it was a great idea. I know my posts have been negative recently and this one doesn't seem like it would be adding any happiness, but actually I think the unperfect parts of life are the most interesting and fun. And though they provide stress, I am happy that my life isn't just a fairytale ending. I like the blood sweat and tears that make up my life.

So here it goes 10 things that make me so far from perfect:

1) I hate taking my dog on walks. I know that sounds terrible, but its true. He doesn't walk easily, and its so boring to just walk around the neighborhood. Of course if I had trained him better when he was a puppy I'm sure he would walk like a pro, but I didn't. And so instead he is constantly pulling, rips my arm out of my socket if he sees another dog before I have a chance to brace myself, and sometimes thinks its a great idea to try and take the leash away from me.

2) I have only run 7 times since I finished my marathon in July. Thats right, I trained for 6 months, and now have lost a huge amount of the gains I made because I've had no drive to run. When people at work ask me, I try and make it sound like I've been keeping up the running, but I haven't. Just last Sunday was my first run since the marathon that was longer than 3 miles.

3) I am way in debt. Be it student loans, loans from my parents, a car loan, or credit card, its going to take me 2 years of severe austerity just to get myself down to only having my student loans. And thats only if I am super good about sticking to my budget. Which means no fun trips, no skiing, no nothing. I don't know if I am going to be able to do it, but I really want to.

4) I'm jealous of married couples. I know I say I don't care and don't want to rush into marriage. But sometimes thats complete bull.

5) I burn food more often than I don't.

6) I spend most weekends in my pjs. Sometimes I get the energy up to actually make myself presentable, but it just seems like such a waste of time. I never go anywhere besides the store it seems and who cares if I am in sweats at the store?

7) I've wanted to write a book since 7th grade, and so far have only made it through the first page of about 3 different attempts. I just have no imagination it would appear.

8) I don't care about watching basketball. Sure I talk a big game about how basketball is the best sport in the world, but I honestly don't really watch until March Madness usually. Jay who thinks basketball is one of the worst sports watches more of it than I do.

9) Since I was 6 weeks old, I've never been outside of the United States. I've always wanted to travel to Europe, Asia, really everywhere but I never follow through on my dreams. I don't have the willpower to actually commit and save for anything.

10) Even though I know how to eat healthy, given the choice of a cheeseburger or a salad, I'd probably pick the cheeseburger 95% of the time. And of course the next day I feel fat and gross, but it doesn't matter the next time I'm given the choice I would still pick the cheeseburger.

There you go. I am sooo far from perfect. But the funny thing is, I actually had to think hard to come up with 10 things that aren't perfect in my life. Despite all of these things, I have a really great life. And it feels good to look my baggage in the face and say, you will not drag me down. Despite you I am happy!

The Never-Ending Battle

Recently I have been feeling really unhappy with my body image. Every time I look in the mirror, I swear I'm noticeably fatter. I'm petrified of the scale, and when I finally get the courage up to weigh myself I am only let down more by either a lack of movement or a small gain. I feel like I'm in a losing battle and there is nothing I can do about it.

Did I always used to feel this way? I try and think back to a time when I was happy with my body and I honestly can't remember that time ever existing. I can remember not caring. But thats not the same as being happy. I do remember the moment that I started to care though. It was fourth grade. We got weighed by the school nurse. I weighed 99 lbs. Now I definitely wasn't fat, I was also 4ft 11in at the time and so that gave me a BMI of right around 20. I'd kill to have a BMI of 20 right now. But as a 10 year old its hard to be rational all the time, and when all your friends weigh around 75 lbs and you weigh basically 25 lbs more than them it doesn't matter that you're a perfectly healthy weight for your size, all that matters is you weigh SO much more than everyone else.

Since then, I have never been happy or comfortable with my weight or body. All through middle school and high school I was terrified of ever being asked my weight. While my skinny beautiful friends would talk about their 26 inch waists I would hope that they didn't want to know my waist size (it was only 28 inches, but in comparison that seems like a lot). While my friends tried on their size 4 jeans I would grab my size 8s as fast as possible and immediately try and hide the label so no one would know how much bigger I was.

Why have I contined to terrorized myself for the last 14 years of my life? Why can't I just be happy that I am safely in the healthy range for weight and body fat composition? Honestly, I have no idea. I wish I did. I'm completely at a loss. I keep telling myself maybe if I get down to my dream weight of 140 lbs I'll be happy. But I remember being 138 lbs my freshman year of college (a feat that was only accomplished through exercise and severe and constant nausea due to stress), I was no happier. In fact I didn't really notice much difference at the time. Maybe someday I'll discover the answer. Until then I guess its back to the daily battle with body image. Let me know if you have Excalibur hidden somewhere, I'd be happy for the help.

Outside Looking In

Its a strange feeling, realizing that your more of an outsider than an insider in your own group of family and friends. Now when I peruse Facebook I see inside jokes between siblings, high-school friends hanging out together, and great friends moving on in life far far away from my own.

I know it is my own fault. I chose to go to a school across the country from my friends and family.And of course when we all graduated from college we went our separate ways, me especially far away to Reno. But it doesn't seem fair. On TV you always see the friends who move in together after college, and are like a surrogate family to each other. That sounds so nice.Why can't I at least have that? Instead I live in a state where I know pretty much no one. And even the people I know I wouldn't feel comfortable calling up and seeing if they want to hang out.

Now  don't get me wrong. I love living with Jay and my two puppies. I mean look how cute they are together:

But I do miss having friends to hang out with and talk to on a regular basis. While Facebook has made it easier to keep in touch with people it has also made it easier to see how all those people you wouldn't have kept in touch with are doing. Life seems like it has suddenly become a race, and I am falling far behind the pack.

Happiness is....

...a clean house!

Okay, I know that seems weird, but honestly it is amazing the difference in my happiness levels when my apartment is clean. I don't know why I ever let it get dirty! (Well yes I do, I get lazy, but you know what I mean.) Luckily Jay also really likes things clean, so we never get truly out of hand, but even the small difference having a clean, picked up floor makes is noticeable.  Which is probably why my wonderful boyfriend knew the best birthday present he could have gotten me was a new vacuum.

Yes it sounds lame I know. Turning 24 years old and her biggest wish is for a vacuum. I don't care though. When you have 2 dogs who track in the outdoors every time they have to pee, going a month with a broken vacuum is WAY too long. Just looking at the clean floor now makes me smile.

Here are a few other things that make me happy:

That tired feeling after a really good workout.

Seeing my adorable dogs having the time of their lives at the dog park.

Tasting a delicious creation I've made after spending WAY too long in the kitchen.

Laying on the couch with Jay.

Knowing that I have an awesome family who will always be there for me.

Drinking hot cocoa and enjoying the cool fall weather (from the safety of my couch)

Napping